A Message to the Masses...

I read an article the other day that listed some foods that were making a comeback due to the current economic situation. And lo and behold, I am finally "hip" or "current" or "in vogue" with something. I do not dress very fashionably, much to my wife's chagrin, and I do not know much about any of the popular t.v.shows or actors, with the exception of what I read on the Internet. The last time I went to the movie theater was to see The third XMen movie, as far as I can remember anyway. So needless to say, I am not very cool by pop culture standards.

But by golly, some of the things that I like to eat are coming into fashion! And those who know me very well probably guessed that if I were to be in style in any manner, it would be dietary. And they would be correct now.

For the article I read, said that Spam was becoming more popular on today's dinner plates due to the economy. Wow! Spam! Now I am an elitist. I have been eating Spam for years and can prepare this delicacy in a number of ways.

And I remember after my wife and I were first married and I bought some Spam at the grocery store. She had little concept of my culinary genius. She looked at me with the look of horror mixed with disbelief. But then I fried it in a skillet, along with some brown sugar, and she was a believer.

And now one of our favorite meals, in value as well as taste, is fried Spam with macaroni and cheese as a side dish. And I read that boxed mac and cheese is making a big comeback. Dang! I never knew it went out of style, so to speak.

The article didn't mention pork and beans, but give people time and they will catch on to my favorite stylish meals. And you have to eat them cold with a lot of black pepper or it will not leave the desired taste on your palette.

The article also mentioned Tang as making a comeback. And guess what?!!? We have purchased Tang recently also! Man! I am on a stylish fire! My old favorites are making a paragon of chic out of me! But I bet that the writers of the article didn't practice drinking it upside down while watching, "First Men in the Moon" like my four year old and I did. But I'm certain that they are not in astronaut training like we are...

The article mentioned Kool-Aid also. Now I am on a roll! But I have to admit, I really couldn't believe that Kool-Aid had gone out of fashion. But I guess it is difficult to relate to the general masses when you are a culinary genius...but the article didn't mention that "Red" is the best flavor. Just ask any kid and they will tell you that...

But I just couldn't believe that Vienna Sausages and saltines didn't make the list! Why, it isn't just a food to take on fishing trips anymore. Just ask my 18 month old daughter. She loves Vienna Sausage dipped in ketchup. And I'm sure she has her mother's good fashion sense...

So I guess that this poor economy is truly good for some people. Not only because we can get ideas to make a good, comfort-food meal for under $8 but because, as they say, "the cream always rises to the top", and baby, I am on top of delectable fashion today! And as soon as the rest of the country discovers the joys of poverty, I will be king!

Well I guess that is enough gloating for one day. But I have to admit; it has been nice to be in vogue for a change. But I am out of time and bravado momentarily, so I will leave you, being the mere culinary proletariat that you are, for I have some bourgeois matters of dietary propensity to deal with; I have to put on a pot of white beans for supper!