Music and Family

What is wrong with music today?

My friend, Jeff sent me an email the other day, telling me to check out a video titled, "Bad Girl" by the artist, and I use the term loosely, named Danity Kane. He then went on to mention how lousy it was and that he was appalled by the product, both in talent, again used loosely, and message.

Jeff has been my best friend for a lot of years and I know he can tolerate a lot of different kinds of music, so my curiosity was triggered when he used the word "appalled". So I followed the link he sent and sat back in my desk chair, ready to experience Danity's artistic expression.

And then it hit me...Oh! The Horror...

This was absolutely atrocious. Absolutely. Even now, two days later, I have trouble finding the words that would explain the level of unpleasantness that I experienced. There was no music. Just the sound of some kind of electronic bat flapping its wings in odd rhythmic torture and a handful of girls trying to harmonize. Granted, this is not the style of music that I enjoy, I can still generally appreciate the talent or understand the artist's expression.

But none of that existed here.

And to make things worse, the concept of the video was terrible. Not only was it shallow and overdone in Hollywood, it was misleading; misleading in the fact that it sent a message to young girls that you can always be a stripper at a peep show if you want to boost your self-esteem.

And this triggered my cognitive process. It made me wonder,"How did we get to this?" Do the music execs and t.v. producers allow just anyone to make a video or release an album? Has the business become so big that it is fully business and no artistry? I can tell you that main stream music has become business and is about marketing and numbers. And supposed shock value; if there were anything left to shock us.

But there is a deeper problem here. And to blame it all on Danity Kane is unfair and incomplete. Her video is only the manifestation of poor taste, style, and judgement. I could find many,many other videos and songs that are just as much of the problem. And not because they take place in a peep show, but because they undermine the fabric of what it is to be young.

Another problem is that we have become very self-deprecating. And not in a humorous, modest way. But in a manner that we may not even realize; at least not in a social manner. And this opens up an entirely new Pandora's Box that I am not willing to tackle this morning.

But I would like to mention a couple of things before I end today's blog. And the most important thing is that our relationship with our children is more crucial today than ever before. Today our children are marketed to at an extremely young age. They are faced with difficult decisions that they must make choices about at an age that they are not yet mature enough to make such decisions.

I have worked with teenagers and kids for ten years or so. And in those short ten years I have seen the social issues change and watched the pressure mount on our youth. And in this period, today, our children are facing a crisis.

That's why our relationship with our children is so important. I have seen, first hand, that kids with strong family relationships can better handle the pressures and stresses of society. And that is whether the family is Christian or not. And I have seen the importance of a father's relationship to his daughter. And if that relationship is strong, the young girl has more esteem and pride and security; and these help lessen the pressures of adolescence. This equips the child to more easily overcome the self-esteem issues and help make better long term decisions. Of course, it is unfair to generalize and sometimes all the parent's love in the world cannot compete with the love of the world; but I would guess that 95% of the time that is not the case.

A mother's relationship with her son is also very special. It has similar positive effects on the young male. And I by no means diminish that relationship by my next remark, but young girls are affected more by the issues of sexuality. Not that young men aren't, but it is more severe in young women. I could write some of my observations of the mother/son relationship, but it would be a rabbit chase for the moment.

I also want to clarify that the family relationship is very important. Not merely father/daughter or mother/son. There is something special about those bonds, but nothing better or worse. And there is no method nor any words to fully explain that. Nothing is more important than our families. Not economics or political policy. Nothing except our relationship with God through Jesus empowered by the Holy Spirit....

I guess I was close to getting on another soapbox, wasn't I? And I bet you are surprised to learn that I am a child psychologist as well as an economist and a quantum physicist and philosopher. I really am a renaissance man. No topic exists that I am not an expert on...

In all seriousness, I do hope that we all think about and tend to our relationships in our family. It would be a huge step in the right direction for a lot of issues that we face.

And even if you don't care about issues or relationships or that you are self-centered to the point of pity; just think that tending to your relationships may at least rid the world of poor music and bad music video.