Insert Title Here

As I look back at the blogs I have written over the past two weeks, there have been some obvious things that stand out. They are a little sophomoric at times. The typing leaves something to be desired and I should probably spend a little time editting and proofreading before I publish a blog (if only my kids would allow such a thing) I am more than a little rusty on my grammar and spelling and I have a unique writing style, none. But the one glaring weakness is my choice of titles. They have been pretty drab and not exactly attention grabbers.

Headlines have always had a way of fascinating me. They can allow a person to keep up with the news without actually reading the articles. And if the Title is especially interesting it can cause a person to read an article that they normally would overlook. But the most interesting aspect of the Title, to me at least, is how the Headlines reflect the views/opinions/ethics of society.

And I am fascinated because sometimes I don't fully understand the implications of the headlines. Or maybe I take them too literal. And usually I find them obvious and comical, even when they are intended to be serious. And here are some examples of some recent headlines and my take on them:

"What Makes A Man Want To Propose"
Did someone actually have to write a column about this? Initially I didn't think so, but as I consider the current divorce rate I think maybe it is necessary. And being happily married I had no need to read the article, but I did think of some reasons why a man may propose; A shotgun weilding, hillbilly brother. Having a few drinks too many. A weekend in Vegas. A woman with a pretty face. And I don't know if my list is very comparable to the original author's list. I do know that the title and picture under the headline implied reasons other than love, prayer, and mature decision making.

"Something Fishy: Shark Report At Jaws Site A Hoax"
Even more sophomoric than my stuff. Someone should have fought this urge and just said "No". My four year old was even insulted at this one. "Daddy, sharks aren't fish are they?".
"No, son, they are not. Its a clever play on words. Its what mature writers use to capture a reader's attention"
"Oh...can we read some more Dr. Seuss?"

"Should You Buy A Scooter To Save Gas Money"
I blame this one on the hysteria that has accomanied the $4 gasoline. And I didn't feel the need to read this article either. All I could think of, was that I sure wouldn't buy a scooter to look cool! It would have to be because of the gas mileage. Not much need for an elaborate column here.

"How To Avoid Lightning"
I'm not making this up. Someone wrote this article and it was placed in the health section. The health section. Maybe it's just me, but I find this funny. This article I had to read. And it was about as assinine as the title implied. "Stay indoors during storms". "Dont stand under tall structures during storms". "Metal can attract lightning so avoid it during a storm". I'm not making this up or embellishing here. These were parts of the article.
And come to find out, the joke is on me. Lightning can be unhealthy. Who knew?...and I checked to see if my mother wrote this and she did not. You are off of the hook, mom.

"Living Beyond Your Means: Five Tell-Tale Signs That Your Finances Have Entered The Dead Zone"
This was one of today's little gems. And I probably shouldn't joke much here, just look around and consider today's economy. Myabe people do need Five signs to know if they are broke. So I made my own five signs: 1- The Mason house eats white beans twice in one week. 2-The look on my wife's face when I ask her if she wants to spend the weekend in St. Louis. 3-We only put $50 worth of gas in our car. This used to be 'filling her up' but now is only a quarter tank full. 4-Having to use smelling salts to revive my wife after I tell her that I went shopping to save her some time. 5- look at our checkbook.

So I have given some examples of the headline/article relationship. It does point out the lack of originality in my own use of this writing tool. I do promise to my reader's, both of you, that I will try to do better. I will even use titles that are submitted to me, if anyone feels the urge to do so. I'm not proud and I could use the help in the headline area. Maybe I will even attempt to come up with a headline before I write my blog. As my studies have shown, society only cares about headlines. We don't have time nor concern for substance.