The Biggest Loser:Uganda or Somewhere

I was reading an article on obesity in the United States the other day, fresh after watching part of The Biggest Loser on television. I can't remember what all of the statistics were, but I believe the test showed that 80something percent of Americans are overweight and that 70something percent were obese. Anyway, reading the article and watching The Biggest Loser started me thinking...

Sometimes I think of our weight issue in America is not as much of a sign of our laziness, but as a sign of our success. A sign that we have it pretty good here in the States, even though many of us get frustrated and bent out of shape over different issues. We have so much more leisure time due to our progress and our technology, that we gravitate towards becoming soft. There's not as much hard, physical work around these days. And I'm not complaining, it's just a thought and my observation.

Then that train of thought left the station and arrived in the town of, What-Would-Happen-If-Underdeveloped-Countries-Had-Reality-T.V.-Like-The-Biggest-Loser? Then the passengers, I mean thoughts, turned to the contemplating of what American television would be like in the more underdeveloped countries. And here is my version of The Biggest loser, Uganda or somewhere.; but be warned, I only watch bits and pieces of the show and I do not know much about third world prime time or ratings sweeps in Africa or other underdeveloped nations. So this may be a stretch:

The Biggest Loser in the Third World could go something like this:
Host:Welcome to the Biggest Loser, Third world Edition. Tonight we have a weigh-in of our finalists to see who wins the $125 Grand Prize. as our first contestant makes his way to the scales let's ask what he plans to do with the prize money

First Contestant:..I can't even begin to tell you what I would do with all of that money. It would triple my yearly income and probably allow me to live a much better life. Of course, I wouldn't let all of the money change me...I would buy some new dirt for the floor of the hut and probably a new donkey to ride into market.This money could sure change my life...

Host: Well alright! Let's look at the scales...Your beginning weight was a whopping 75 pounds. After weeks of work in the gym, training on the fat farm, and Jenny Craig meals three times a day, let's see how much weight you have worked off....Your weight now is...125 pounds! Wow! It seems like agonizing workouts and a steady diet has caused you to gain weight! I guess you were better off working sun-up to sun-down and eating a partial meal of ground meal every day.

First Contestant: [too shocked to speak, just looks down at his dirty, bare feet]

Host: I'm sorry but you are eliminated. But we do have some nice parting gifts from our sponsor, Rice-a-Roni. And maybe our staff can find you and your family a nice missionary or a decent warlord to help you maintain your "progress' to a healthier life. We are sorry for your exploitation, I mean your disappointment...Now Let's bring out our next contestant...

Second Contestant: I'm so nervous...but I think I managed to lose weight. At least some of the baby fat that I haven't been able to work off since my thirteenth child...I sure would like to wear a bathing suit again.

Host: Well let's see if you will be turning heads at the country club pool this summer...your initial weight was a scandalous 53 pounds, or about the equivalent of an American second grader...and now the scales read...84 pounds! 84 pounds! It seems like we have an issue on the Biggest Loser. It seems like all of our contestants are too lazy and indifferent to change their lifestyles, even when enticed with five years worth of income.

Second Contestant: But I did try![now in tears] I wanted so much to be like the Americans. I wanted so very much to follow instructions and win the grand prize! It was a chance for me to do more for my family. I was wanting to buy a new goat. The kids wanted a new pet, since we had to eat the last couple of pets. I was going to buy mosquito netting for the hut. I dreamt of upgrading to a shack...

Host: Well I am sorry...But we do have some consolation prizes for you. And we plan on asking Bono and Bob Geldoff to write a new song for your village. You can't eat it, but it will ease our conscious...And that is all for this season. Stay tuned for our newest series, Televangelist Congo!

And that is that...I'm out of time and opportunity. My 20 month old girl with pica just ate a decent amount of CloseUp toothpaste and is hissing and spitting like a mad cat. But her breath sure smells good! So duty calls me elsewhere...Have a Glorious Monday!